Wednesday, December 31, 2014
It's quite a thing to be able to look back on a year and actually point to a moment when you were about two days from dead.
That being said... with a bit of a shudder... this was the year, alright. Life became damn near hopeless, and everything seemed to be coming down around me. And then, just when it seemed it couldn't get any damn worse, it got worse. On June 1st - National Cancer Survivor's Day, in an ironic twist - I was admitted to Kaiser hospital with congestive heart failure; later to be discovered as brought on by serious scarring of my heart due to radiation damage from surviving my lymphoma and subsequent treatments when I was seventeen. Talk about a three hit combo; turning forty, finding a naked patch of scalp, and then - WHAM! - heart failure. No, not midlife crisis, much, huh?
But, at the close of this tumultuous year, I am not only making the climb back to healthy, but to a renewed sense of self and creativity. Probably aided by the fact that, due to recovery and being on disability, my life is pretty much at zero. So, with nothing else much left to lose...
Nah, it's not all that, really. But, with school nearly done, and some other options now opening to me, I finally feel more in line with the zany self I used to be. So, here's to hoping, here's to trying, and here's to a new page.
Hello, 2015... Bring it.