Friday, January 12, 2018

Remain Seated, Please...

     For the past couple of decades, now, I have been a Facilities Manager in the greater Silicon Valley area. If you don't know, Facilities is the department in a large company that manages janitorial contracts, keeps the lights on, and the water running. From mending holes in walls to shuffling desk space, it's your Facilities team, and its manager, that pretty much keep the show going while you all make the big money.

     Of course, twenty years ago, companies didn't dump lavish expense into the everyday work comfort of their cube jocks. No, in point of fact, it was more likely that things like office furniture were usually second hand, if that.

     A good case in point; this is the model of chair I have sat in for, at least, the past ten years. Usually when I get them they are in a desperate need of a cleaning, have broken or missing parts, and the cushions have gone flat from years of asses in and out of them.

     Despite that they were very comfy, and could hide your more gassy days from your co-workers; who have always thought you should rethink some of your lunch choices. (Really, did you need all those onions on that hot dog? Really?)

     This was the case for a long time, where offices just hung onto whatever furniture they had for years, and years, and years. But now, things are different. Currently I'm a contractor at social media company. Currently I am a contractor at the social media empire. And here, we all sit in these bad boys; Herman Miller's Aeron Chair - complete with adjustable lumbar support and ergo weave seat and backrest. (Oddly, no; they are not comfortable.)

     After twenty years of cushiony muffle goodness, I was unprepared for what happened when I let one rip after a particularly spicy lunch. Now I do a double check of my surrounding before I sound my big tummy whistle...

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