Tuesday, February 20, 2018
If you read these a lot, or know us in real life, you know that Jocelyn is my sage, often my rock in what can be the confounding situations I find myself in. She's not only one of the best friends I've ever had, she's also like the big sister I never knew I wanted, or needed.
And maybe she's right, here?
But then again I have this hole in myself that needs filling, now, and a need to get out, feel, explore, and express. So throwing caution - and my dignity - to the wind, I submitted me a personal ad. And it was amazing! Apparently I am irresistible to bots!
Seriously; when you go out on a limb and try to make a connection, there's nothing as harsh as getting bot attacks. And not even cleverly engineered ones, at that. Someone needs to be punched in the neck.
Moving on and getting back into life is never easy. Point in fact that the making of this comic was fraught with embarrassment, and almost didn't happen. And considering how love came to me the last time (Or her, this time.), it makes this all the more uncomfortable. But, funny is as funny does, I suppose, and you can't pass up a good joke, right? Plus, it's kind of like therapy, maybe; helping me grieve, deal, and let go.
In the modern age it seems that dating has gotten, for the working professional, a little more difficult if you don't have social hobbies and outlets. (I do, but it's... complicated.) Even more so, when trying to date outside various social circles and worlds of interest, if you don't fit into a box. (And I don't.) But then the idea of putting anyone but a cat into a box seems silly to begin with. Despite that, we make profiles, download apps, and surrender ourselves to services that engineer encounters. Seems to knock out some of the magic of the whole of it. But this is a modern age, so...
I have also gone the more traditional route. Right now I'm 1 for 4 on the asking. (We'll see how that one goes.) I'm not going about this with a plan, or an agenda; I'm not looking to score. I'm just trying to get back on my feet, get back into life, meet people, have some fun, and maybe let go and live, again.
You know; working on myself, and all that happy horse shit.
Thursday, February 8, 2018
I haven't had a "good night's sleep" probably since December 23rd of last year.
It's not for lack of trying, mind you. But since certain events have unfolded in my world, and I have slipped into this depression, it's been tough to get a solid four hours of sleep, let alone a decent six. And most of that has to do with my dreams.
For the past couple months all of my dreams have been these surrealistic, very involved, almost hyper real tumbles where I am lost while questing. There have been homes by rail yards full of boxes and demon mutant squatters, castles where tourists can play royal crusader, strange spirit-like guides, possessed man eating furniture, and so on.
The most common thread through all of them is the sense of being lost while looking for something. They're very physical, too; often I'm worn out when I wake up, feeling very, very sad. They are such an issue that so much so I often dread going to sleep because of them. Usually I try and tucker myself out real good so that I can just drop off into sleep and be lucky I either miss them, or they are brief.
But dreams are more often than not a sort of window into our subconscious; built off of what's churning in our minds during our waking hours. And with my life in a bit of a free fall now having lost that special thing in my life, well...
I am listening, though I wish they'd maybe slow down, talk a little lower, and maybe make some better sense; I am trying to learn and maybe find some take-away from this. But I will say this; they sure are never dull or boring.
Not that I couldn't use the change, mind you.