Wednesday, October 24, 2018
I suppose I should first invest more into the idea of how personally revealing this comic is to be. But, then, I've shared a lot of intimate embarrassment here, already, so I guess that's not really the issue, is it?
Those that follow me on social media, or who regularly read this currently spare comics, know that I've been battling some serious issues this year. Namely, having been lied to, led on, and betrayed. (Broken hearts often use language that reflects the breakage... and then amp it up some. Okay, a lot.) And this has unleashed something inside of me that I had thought packed up and put away a log time ago; my Hate.
I put Hate away more than two decades ago, after surviving cancer; thinking it had no place in my heart or in my life. Well, turns out that even if you stash it away somewhere, it's still... well... there. And once it gets a chance to flex itself it likes to make up for lost time. And, wow, has he been doing himself a good job.
But, more than that, the tragedies and disasters of 2018, some now still unfolding, have also led me into some rather uncharted waters where here, as they sailors might say, there be dragons.
Taboo things that once I thought were places I'd never set foot I find myself regularly; odd relationships, the kind that have rules and multiple players, encounters that sometimes require safe words and emergency sheers to be on hand, and all kinds of other... interesting... events are becoming more the norm for me; as well as things now more overtly, playfully sexual.
Yeah, this comic will be getting a little more interest. That is, if I can keep my world from constantly blowing up... which tends to fuel my Hate even more.
Meanwhile, all this new life adventuring, and wrestling Hate, have isolated me from friends. Especially some of my closest. You see, when your world starts to unfold into odd and interesting places, you often feel a gulf between yourself and those people that, now, represent an "ordinary world". Well, at least it has to me. And no where did this become more apparent than in the past few months dodging my bestest, closest bud, Miss J.
We've had our rifts before... usually because I'm a huge raging idiot. (Shocking, I know.) But, some how, we have managed as friends. Much like our annual trip to Half Moon Bay, California for the Pumpkin Festival. There was beer, and pumpkin treats, and trinket shopping, and along the way, after more beer and food at Cameron's (Which is an awesome place, you should really check it out if you find yourself that way.) I came clean that I had been avoiding her over the odd and weird ways my world was unfolding.
But friendship finds a way. Also, friendship has a good left hook. And, hopefully, Miss J will once again be appearing in more comics. And, hopefully there will be many more comics to come.
As for Hate? Well, he still boils behind my eyes. A lot. I am uncomfortable with how eagerly I stew over things where I have been slighted, and other little dark, stank, slimy things he brings to the table. Flip side, though; he's bringing out something more... aggressive, perhaps, in me. Something that is helping me to open up to new possibilities in my life. So, this might be interesting.
Luckily, though, Miss J will be there to help keep us in line. Because, I'm not kidding; she's kind of scary...